Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
