I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
