I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize