Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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