she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
