A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
