so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize