New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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