Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
