so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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