Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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