oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
