She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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