You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
