We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
