planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
