i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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