No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
