Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
