Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
