I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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