But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
