if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
