So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
