I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So much Jack, so little girl.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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