So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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