Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
