So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
