Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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