Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
