So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
