I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
