i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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