Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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