its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
