i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize