her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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