My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
we should paint friendship bongs
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