I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
