apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
