and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize