fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize