are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
