Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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