i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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