Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
