ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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