just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
