Its about making memories worth repressing
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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