Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
