You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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