i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
