he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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