guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize