we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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