dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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