If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
