If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize