Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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